052: My Spirit Baby Story: How I Met My Son 7 Years Before He Was Born

In this deeply personal episode, I share the magical preconception story of my son Henry, who started visiting me in dreams 7 years before he was born. Tune in to hear:

• The moment I knew I’d be a mother, even though I never planned on it
• How my son started communicating with me long before he was born
• My experience with a miscarriage and pregnancy after loss
• The beautiful signs and symbols that carried me through my grief, all the way through a healthy pregnancy and birth
• Tips for communicating with your own spirit babies 

Follow me on Instagram @hollyfisherhiggins

Work with me as a hypnotherapy client: https://www.hollyfisherhiggins.com/work-with-me/rtt-rapid-transformational-hypnotherapy/

Download my free "Clear the Crap" meditation here (this will put you on my email list!)

Books mentioned:

Babies are Cosmic, by Elizabeth and Neil Carman

Spirit Babies, by Walter Makichen

A Cosmic Bond, by Emily Greene

Music: Joseph McDade, "On the Verge"

Chapters

• 0:09 The Miracle of Spirit Babies
• 11:16 Signs of Conception and Joyful Anticipation
• 16:26 Guided by Feathers
• 22:45 Messages of Hope and Rebirth
• 38:01 Heartfelt Feathers
• 42:57 Magical Gender Reveal and Quiet Signs

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:09

Welcome to MindSpeak. I'm Holly Higgins, a hypnotherapist and a total nerd when it comes to all things holistic mental health. I'm here to help you tap into the truth of who you really are. I'm here to help you tap into the truth of who you really are. Beyond trauma, past conditioning, limiting beliefs, underneath the baggage, there's freedom. Think of the conversations and ideas on this show like breadcrumbs along the healing path. Let's dive in. Hello, I am so excited to record today's episode.

Speaker 1: 0:51

This episode has been on my heart for a very long time, and in this episode I am going to tell the story of my son, henry, and how he was communicating with us long before he was born. Some people refer to this phenomenon as spirit babies is usually what it's commonly called. This is when a child communicates with you very clearly before their birth, and so today I'm going to tell the absolutely magical story of Henry in spirit baby form, before he ever came to physically be on this planet, and I'm going to preface this by saying that this is an extremely personal share. It's very, very personal to me, but I keep getting the message that someone or many ones out there need to hear it, and I also am recording this because I want to keep the full story for myself in one place and, yes, I could do that in a journal entry, but this just feels more appropriate for me. And I also want to preface this by saying that this is absolutely the most magical story of my life. It is stranger than fiction, it is absolutely wild, and there are also going to be some sad topics within this episode topics like miscarriage and grief, just to give you a heads up about that and ultimately, it's an extremely uplifting story. But I will warn you that this may tug on your heartstrings more than a Hallmark movie. So just be prepared, and if you're sensitive to hearing about pregnancy or pregnancy loss, that might be a consideration for you as well, although, in my perspective, this story is just all about hope, and I ask that you listen with an open heart and an open mind, whether or not your belief systems or ways of looking at the world align with mine. If you choose to listen to this episode, I just ask that you remain in a spirit of openness as you hear it. So here we go. Let's start at the very beginning, or where it makes sense to start.

Speaker 1: 3:13

My husband and I we have been together since 2009. So a very long time, almost 15 years that's a little weird for me to wrap my mind around and for the longest time we actually didn't think that we wanted kids. We remained somewhat open, but we were pretty sure in the back of our minds that we were just going to be childless and very content and happy and focused on our careers and that we didn't ever really see ourselves having kids. Ha ha ha. And that we didn't ever really see ourselves having kids, ha ha ha. So we got together in 2009. And it was either in 2015 or 2016.

Speaker 1: 4:00

I went to bed one night and I had a dream of a little boy on a beach. I was behind him, I was looking at him, his back was facing me. I remember he was wearing a floppy sun hat and he was sitting on the beach playing in the sand and I looked out and I could see the water and I could see something, you know, in the distance, kind of like the other side of the shore or a mountain range or something. And I just remember staring at the back of this little boy. I couldn't see his face, but I knew that he was a boy and I woke up in the morning and it seems like a very simple dream, and I don't have any way to describe this, but I was just covered in chills and I knew that this was real. There was just some deep knowing inside of me. This is my son and this was real. It was somehow different than any other dream that I'd ever had and I again I can't tell you why or how I knew that this was real. I just knew that it was real and for the longest time, this haunted me, because we didn't plan on having kids. It wasn't something that we talked about, and I just knew that it was real and it kind of freaked me out and also, I didn't tell Sean for the longest time. So this was 2015, 2016. I had kept this dream to myself and it would pop into my consciousness here and there and I'd just be like, oh yeah, that wild and crazy dream.

Speaker 1: 5:33

But then in 2019, 2020, we started talking about the possibility of having kids. It started coming into our conversations just in a really casual way and at the time I was 32 or 33. And as we were just kind of starting to open the door to maybe this is a possibility, I was talking to Sean and I told him about the dream and come to find out he had had the exact same dream. So that was pretty flooring to both of us when we realized that we had had the same dream. I think he even had it multiple times and we just never communicated it with each other because for the longest time, that just felt like something that we weren't talking about. And once we found out that we had had the same dream, that made things much more real for us and we started kind of thinking along the lines of, okay, this is gonna happen, but we just don't know when, and we're going to trust the timing on all of this and fast forward to April 2020.

Speaker 1: 6:42

That was right after March of 2020, which is when COVID came along, april 2020, I was in a very, very deep meditation and I saw this picture in my mind's eye and, just to give you a little preface for this, I was in my husband's office, and in his office he has a photo an old photo of him and his family, and so it's his mom and his dad standing beside each other, and then, under his mom and his dad, are him and his sister, so his dad has his arms on his sister's shoulders and Sean's mom has her hands on Sean's shoulders. So just think of it as two parents and their two children, boy and girl, are standing underneath them and their hands are on their shoulders and they're standing there and they're smiling at the camera. So, anyway, I'm in this deep meditation and I see this photo in my mind's eye of Sean and his family. And then, right underneath Sean, right underneath his hands, I saw the image of a little boy appear underneath Sean's hands, and then I heard the words continuing the paternal lineage. So you can imagine Sean's dad is there, and then Sean is there, and then, underneath Sean's hands, underneath this little boy, is an even littler boy continuing the paternal lineage. And I saw this little boy appear and I now know that this little boy was my son and of course I knew then. But reflecting back on the image I saw now I'm like, oh yeah, that indeed is and was Henry appearing underneath Sean in my mind's eye and in addition to the phrase continuing the paternal lineage, I also just had this instant awareness of this is always why you see the number two. He communicates with you through twos.

Speaker 1: 8:58

Now, if you're a longtime listener or you go back in the episode archive a while you'll know that I have an episode on repeating numbers, or angel numbers, and I talk about 222 and 444 and other numbers that I've had throughout my life. And in this meditation I got the insight that Henry, who was then my spirit baby, who was then my spirit baby, had been communicating with me through the number two for a very long time. So at this point, we've had many magical things happen. We've had the dream, we've had the vision of the photo, I've gotten the knowledge that he communicates with me through twos, and Sean and I continued to talk about pregnancy, but we were waiting for the right time. It just didn't feel like the right time yet, and in September 2020, we moved to Tennessee, and a couple months after we moved in I think it was about November 2020, I did a hypnosis session with my husband, sean.

Speaker 1: 10:02

I don't often do hypnosis sessions with him simply because he's my spouse and it's usually better for a spouse to do their inner work with. You know someone who's unbiased, but I do occasionally do hypnosis sessions for him and I don't even recall exactly what the session was for, but in that session, I did a future progression with him, and what a future progression is is when you're in hypnosis, instead of taking someone back in time, which is what we usually do, we usually go back in time to find the root cause of issues and challenges. I'll take someone forward in time and I'll ask them usually to land in a scene that will give them hope and perspective and clarity and just reassurance about their future. So, anyway, we did a future progression and in that future progression, sean saw a little boy in my office upstairs and in this vision that he had, this little boy was about four or five years old, he was wearing a robot t shirt and he was hiding under my desk and saying Mommy, mommy, you can't catch me.

Speaker 1: 11:16

Mommy, mommy, you can't catch me. And Sean also noticed that all over my office there were these crayon drawings of birds, and not even in my office, but just all over the house. He had this awareness that there were these drawings of birds everywhere, and he got this message and hypnosis from our spirit baby Henry, whenever you see a bird, think of me. And so that was really, really significant. And Sean came out of that hypnosis just in absolute awe and filled with love, and also me being there to facilitate it. Both of us were just in complete awe over the visions and the messages that he had received while in hypnosis.

Speaker 1: 12:06

So, reminding you of the timeline, that happened in November 2020. And so more time passes and we're kind of planning and talking about the ideal time, and as more time passes, the sense of urgency also increases, not like a frantic urgency, but we could just feel him hovering around us in a very palpable way and we just started feeling like, okay, okay, I think it's time, I think it's time, okay, I think it's time, I think it's time. So, flash forward to August 22nd 2021. It was a full moon and it also happened to be a blue moon, which is rare. A blue moon is when there are two full moons in one month. So it was August 22nd 2021. And that date felt really significant because I knew that Henry had been communicating to us in twos. And so, august 22nd, I thought this date is very, very significant.

Speaker 1: 13:12

And it also just so happened that I was ovulating and so one morning we were intimate, we did the deed, and then I just felt in my body that it happened. I just had this feeling like it happened. I can't explain it. There was just this whoosh of energy that came over me and I just knew in my core that I had conceived. And so later that morning we went outside, on the front porch, to have coffee and we were just having a slow, leisurely morning and once we sat down outside, there were hundreds, honestly, if not 1000s, of birds that flooded into our front pasture. Our front porch overlooks this big open pasture and you could just hear the birds. They were blackbirds of a certain kind. They may have just been blackbirds, I don't know exactly what kind of birds they were, but there were hundreds, if not thousands of them, and they just flooded in to the front pasture and we both remembered that communication that we had received when he said whenever you see a bird, think of me. And here we are looking out over the field and there are thousands of birds. And I just had this, knowing that I had conceived.

Speaker 1: 14:41

And then I also remember going inside after we'd finished our coffee and I opened up Instagram and the very first thing in my feed was a picture of the full moon from a friend of mine who lives in Australia and her baby boy was looking out the window and pointing at the full moon, and I think at the time her son may have been one and a half or something like that. So, yeah, I opened my Instagram app to see this little boy pointing at the moon and I just thought oh my gosh, oh my gosh, this has happened, this is it. And so then we waited. If you have ever been on a conception journey, you know that that two-week wait between conception and being able to get a positive pregnancy test, or being able to read a pregnancy test it is absolute torture. But anyway, fast forward two weeks. I took a pregnancy test in early September and it was positive and I was absolutely overjoyed. We had gotten all those signs that this was it and this was the time. And it happened. It happened, and we were just so elated and for the longest time we referred to our son, even though we knew we wanted to name him Henry. We called him baby H Because we we always had these impressions that he was a boy, but we wanted to be safe. We didn't want to, you know, always be referring to a boy if, in fact, I had conceived a girl, just out of respect for the growing baby. So we called the baby baby H.

Speaker 1: 16:26

And one day, a little bit later on, I was on a hike by myself and I just said out loud in the forest. I said baby H, if you can hear me, show me a feather. And as I was wrapping up that hike and heading back to my car, I noticed on the trail, directly in the middle of the trail, in front of me, there was this beautiful blue bluebird feather, this small, beautiful blue feather, and I bent down and I picked it up and I saved it and I just felt such a strong presence of love as I bent down and I picked up this feather Yet again, more confirmation. So baby H was with me and baby H could hear me. And so a couple weeks later my mom came to stay with us for a little bit. She was living in Arkansas at the time and she'd brought along with her a lot of photos, old photo books and mementos from my childhood. And one night I was going through the old photo books and I came across my baby bracelet from the hospital. So I was looking at my baby bracelet and I noticed that on my little baby bracelet from the hospital, 222, the number 222 was in my patient number as an infant and I just got chills. I was like, wow, how uncanny is it that baby H has been communicating with me through twos and these numbers were actually on my baby bracelet as an infant in the hospital. I just thought how uncanny is that. So we fast forward a little bit more that. So we fast forward a little bit more.

Speaker 1: 18:29

And it's late September. I must have been about seven weeks along at the time and I was up in my office I was having a meeting with a client and then I came downstairs and I took a bathroom break and I noticed that I had some spotting and I started to get really concerned and really panicky and I called my midwife and she said oh, you know, this can happen, don't worry about it, just take it easy, just rest. It should hopefully go away. Get back in touch with me and call me if it doesn't go away. And the spotting did kind of die down. But by the next day I ended up having a heavy bleed and I called my midwife and she told me you know, at this point you need to go to the hospital.

Speaker 1: 19:12

And that was a really, really, really scary time for us. We were not prepared for it, we were not expecting it. My heart just absolutely sank. I was in tears on the way to the hospital. My heart just absolutely sank. I was in tears on the way to the hospital and when we got to the hospital, I checked into registration before sitting down in the waiting room and I got my hospital bracelet, my patient bracelet, and it had the numbers 2222 on it and my husband and I both saw that and we just felt like, okay, this is potentially horrible and yet this feels like a sign that everything is going to be okay.

Speaker 1: 19:56

And I was in really, really horrible physical pain. It was awful. I was in the hospital for most of the evening. I think I can't remember when I came home.

Speaker 1: 20:12

I think it was later in the evening and there are some details about the physical process and what happened and what didn't happen and waiting to find out exactly what happened that aren't exactly relevant to this episode. But essentially, what happened is I naturally had a miscarriage, so I didn't have to be induced for a miscarriage or any anything like that. No DNC or anything like that. I had a natural miscarriage that I honestly probably could have stayed home for, but I was so panicked at the time that I chose to go to the hospital and so, anyway, there there are details about the physicality of all of that that aren't necessarily relevant to the message that I want to share today, but the short of it is that I was in a whole lot of physical pain Interestingly way, way, way more pain during my early miscarriage than I ended up having at my eventual birth. I think that is really interesting, and something that I don't see talked about very often is that my very early miscarriage was much more physically painful than my actual full-term birth of my healthy baby. I just think that's so fascinating.

Speaker 1: 21:37

But it does make a lot of sense, because the miscarriage was not something that I was planning for. It was very emotionally challenging and difficult for me, and so in a lot of ways, I think it makes sense in that regard. But if you just look at the physicality of it, it's it's not what you would expect. So, anyway, we get home that night, we are exhausted and heartbreaking and we get home and we're walking in the door and we see a feather right on our doorstep and it took our breath away, because I had already told Sean about the feathers. I had told him about, you know, all the signs that I had encountered along this journey and we saw that feather and it took our breath away and we were still heartbroken. We were still heartbroken but we also felt like, okay, we are being heard, we are being guided. There is a greater plan afoot in all of this that might not make sense to our earthly minds.

Speaker 1: 22:45

So we get home and I decide that I want to watch documentaries on near-death experiences because those are very comforting to me. I'm very fascinated by near-death experiences in general stories of people who have died, gone to the other side and come back. They're very comforting to me, they're very fascinating to me and in my opinion, there are a lot of crossovers also with what people report in pre-birth experiences, accounts of pre-birth communications. So I decided, hey, I'm super sad, I just want to sit on the couch and I want to watch documentaries about near-death experiences. So I turn one on and a lot of these have really low production budgets and they're super cheesy, but I love them anyway.

Speaker 1: 23:51

So I turn one on and a little bit into the documentary there's this older woman that comes on and she's wearing this very, uh, very eccentric garb let's put it that way this very eccentric clothing, and she has this giant feather lapel pin, this giant lapel pin on her jacket or whatever it was that she was wearing and it's a feather. And I just thought to myself and I said to Sean are you kidding me? Like we get home and there's a feather on our doorstep, and now I'm strongly drawn to watch this documentary and within the first five minutes of the documentary there's this lady wearing a massive feather lapel pin. So, even though I was in tremendous pain and tremendous grief pin, so even though I was in tremendous pain and tremendous grief, there were these messages coming from the divine that were holding me. And we got up the next morning and I was still in really severe pain and Sean opened the door to find yet another feather right on our doorstep. And this was feeling uncanny by then. And not only were we finding and seeing all of these signs, but we just felt this really, really palpable presence around us, as if he was hovering around and just desperately trying to send us these messages of peace and reassurance. So, yeah, another feather right on the doorstep.

Speaker 1: 25:30

And later that morning I decided to go out to the hammock and sit in the hammock and just get some sunshine and try to just breathe and ground myself. So I went out and I sat on the hammock and I was looking down our driveway and I was just grieving and mourning and riding the waves of pain that were coming over me and I noticed at the other end of the driveway I saw this balloon that was blowing about. It looked like a balloon from you know a party or something that had blown onto our property and it was just kind of flip-flopping and floating around and I just sat in the hammock and I watched it and I remember thinking to myself how ironic and sad and obnoxious is it that there is this blatant symbol of celebration that shows up in my yard on a day when I am in some of the deepest grief in my life. It just felt like this cosmic middle finger to have this symbol of celebration be in my yard flitting about when I am having such a horrible time. So I'm laying there, really, really annoyed at this balloon, and I just try to ignore it and I'm laying there staring up at the sky and then, out of the corner of my eye, I see the balloon again and the balloon is kind of blowing toward me and making its way toward me like a, like a little trash tumbleweed and eventually it blows right up beside me, right up beside my hammock, and I pick it up and I look at it and it says happy birthday. And there's this giant rainbow on it, a giant rainbow, and it says happy birthday.

Speaker 1: 27:31

And I was just really, really mad. I was so mad because the first thing that crossed my mind was my baby that was just in my body is not going to have a proper birthday, and that fills me with grief and I'm so angry that this stupid symbol of happiness and celebration showed up to greet me today, and so I set it down beside the hammock. I didn't feel like taking it to the trash or doing anything with it, I just sat it down beside the hammock and I just sobbed for a little while. It just was not something that I wanted to see. It felt very rude, like I said, it felt like a cosmic metal finger and I stared up at the sky and I was.

Speaker 1: 28:26

I was just in my grief and then I noticed the balloon started blowing away and it was blowing and tumbling and it made its way from the hammock, where I was, all the way to the front door of our house, and my husband was in the house at the time. He was inside of the house and I was out in the yard and this balloon blows up to the front door. Blows up to the front door so much so that it appears to be pressing itself against our front door, as if it is literally trying to make its way into the house. And then it started kind of blowing back and forth and dancing back and forth and like hitting the door, and I got this sense that it was knocking on the door and it was just moving in these really uncanny ways that didn't appear to be necessarily driven by the pattern of the wind.

Speaker 1: 29:25

And so I'm sitting here watching this balloon in consternation and then I get a, I get a really good view of the balloon again and what's on it, and happy birthday with a rainbow. And then I just hear the phrase in my head rainbow baby, rainbow baby. And I stop for a minute and I think, oh, my goodness, this is another message from baby H, from our spirit baby. This is another message. And so my attitude about this balloon changed in an instant when I realized what the message was. And if you're unfamiliar with the term rainbow baby, what rainbow baby means is it is the baby that you have, the baby that you have, the baby that you bring earthside successfully after a loss, after a pregnancy loss that's the simplest way that I can think of to describe it. And so then I chose to look at the balloon with the message happy birthday, rainbow baby. So I knew it was a message that our baby was coming. It just wasn't coming in the body that I had been carrying, and I still have that balloon. What I initially thought was going to be a very obnoxious piece of trash has turned into one of my most prized possessions that I still have and I cherish.

Speaker 1: 30:58

And anyway, after the balloon incident, the weeks that followed they were very, very hard. Even though we were receiving all of these signs, we were still in deep grief and we were in shock. It was just a really, really challenging time for us. But still, the feathers kept showing up multiple times per day on our doorstep, and sometimes in random places. But they were showing up with such persistence that Sean and I started asking each other, like are you putting these here? Are you sure you're not putting these here? Do you promise you're not putting these here? To just to make me feel better? Like, do you pinky swear? Then we both swore up and down. We were not putting the feathers on the doorstep. They were just showing up there, and we do live on a farm and we do have chickens, but the majority of these I'd say 90% of these were not chicken feathers, they were just small gray feathers. They look like they're from a morning dove, just these small gray feathers. And so the chickens weren't an excuse either. These feathers, they were just showing up. And I also remember over those next couple of weeks we saw a really, really big rainbow in the sky. We kept seeing 222 everywhere we went. I found some golf balls in my yard that had the number 22 on them. I found multiple golf balls in my yard with the number 22. On them. I found multiple golf balls in my yard with the number 22.

Speaker 1: 32:39

And as the weeks went on, we had amassed basically this little shrine that I kept in the window with just dozens and dozens of feathers and receipts with 222 and labels with 222, just all of these things that we had collected that had 222 on them, as well as the balloon. The balloon was part of the little shrine that we had amassed over those weeks. And you know that fall and that winter things, even though we were getting all of these beautiful symbols and signs. Things just felt really dark and I remember my husband and I were so depressed that we slept out in the living room on the living room floor, I think we dragged our mattresses out there and we just had a slumber party in the living room every night and we watched TV every night just for a sense of fun and novelty, because we just needed something to break up our routine and change our environment to make it feel more comforting, just because of how devastated we were. And if you've been through a pregnancy loss or any kind of deep grief like that, I'm sure that you can relate. And time went on and I didn't feel ready to try again and I was starting to have fears about my own fertility and I was continuing to receive these signs, the feathers and the numbers. But after a couple of weeks I would say after about two to three weeks post miscarriage, post pregnancy loss the signs, they feel like they started to slow down and then in December 2021, this is roughly three months after the pregnancy loss I did a future self hypnosis loss.

Speaker 1: 34:40

I did a future self hypnosis. You know I talked about earlier in the episode. I did a hypnosis session with my husband, sean, and I did a future progression on him. This was similar to what I did with him, but it was basically more of a guided meditation experience. This is actually the main thing that inspired me to create Future Glimpse. If you have heard me talk about my Future Glimpse program, which is available on my website as an instant download, it's, I think it's, like a 35 minute meditation that takes you into a future progression so that you can have experiences, meaningful experiences of your own when it comes to glimpsing into the future. That's what I did. I did a future self meditation and I call these future glimpses now and I took myself one year into the future. So keep in mind, with the timeline, this is December 2021. I'm doing a future self meditation and I am quote, unquote time traveling one year into the future, and this meditation to December 2022.

Speaker 1: 35:53

And I have this vision of a little boy in a little baby swing, a little infant baby boy in a baby swing in front of the Christmas tree, and he had dark hair and these big sparkly eyes, and I just saw me and Sean sitting in the living room on the living room rug in front of this baby swing, and the baby swing is just moving back and forth and we were looking at this little boy with dark hair and it was such a clear vision and it came with so much love. I just felt myself surrounded by love as I saw this little baby boy in the infant swing. And I also remember having this knowing, because I was. I was looking at this vision and this image and just taking it all in. And I just had this knowing in my head of oh, he's three months old, he's three months old, it's December 2022. And he's three months old.

Speaker 1: 36:58

And I came out of that meditation and I did the math and, you know, counted up the nine months or whatever, and I realized, okay, if he's three months old in December 2022, that would mean he would have to be born in September of 2022. And I had really mixed feelings about this, about this vision that I had in the future glimpse, future self meditation, because the image was so, so, so real and yet I also wanted to protect my heart and I didn't want to get my hopes up. So I wanted so badly to believe it was real and simultaneously, I was afraid to believe it was real because I just didn't want to get my hopes up. And so, doing that math, realizing that he would be born in September of 2022, I thought, well, if that's true, then we're going to have to conceive really soon.

Speaker 1: 38:01

And I know it was only one pregnancy loss, but I had spiraled into a pretty dark place and I had been having doubts about my fertility and I was worrying and thinking to myself oh my gosh, like what, if? What if we can't even conceive? Like what if? What if this isn't even going to happen? You know, grief can really take a stronghold on you and even with all of these beautiful divine signs and visions and experiences, I still had doubt and I still had fear. But we did try again that month and we waited again, that torturous wait, which is even more complicated because now it's layered with these emotions and the experience of loss. But then, on January 12, 2024, I had a positive pregnancy test and it was such a mix of emotions Because when you find out you're pregnant after you've had a pregnancy loss, it's.

Speaker 1: 39:10

It's tough because you want to celebrate, you want to get excited, you want to get your hopes up, but you're also not naive anymore because you've experienced loss and there's a sense of wanting to guard your heart. So when I took this pregnancy test, sean was outside. He was working on something on the homestead. I was inside and I knew I could not keep it from him for very long at all, nor did I want to. So he was outside and I decided to make it really special and I took all of the feathers that we had gathered and amassed, all of the feathers that had been sent to us after the loss that we kept on our little magical shrine. I took all of the feathers and I made a trail from the front door all the way back to our back bedroom and our closet. And I made the trail back to the closet and then I just went and I hid in the closet and I waited for him to come, in which it could have been hours or it could have been minutes, but fortunately I didn't have to hide too long, I think within a few minutes he happened to come in the house and he followed the trail of feathers all the way back to the back closet and I got to show him the positive test and he was overjoyed and we just cried and hugged in the closet.

Speaker 1: 40:43

I still get emotional thinking about it, um, because not only was I nervous about my fertility but I think my husband, sean, was even more nervous and worried about would it be possible for us to conceive again, which I know some of you might be listening to this and thinking oh my gosh, you had one pregnancy loss, like, of course, you know things are still healthy and viable, but if you've been through a loss, you know what your mind can do, in the places it can go, and we had developed a lot of fears in that time, and so we sat in the closet and we cried and we hugged and we were just surrounded by all of these feathers and it was just a really, really special, magical, beautiful moment. And after the initial burst of excitement started to cool down, I remembered the future self exercise that I did back in December and I realized, oh, like I need, I need to do the math, due date calculation, and I realized he would be born likely sometime in September 2022, which would mean that by December 2022, the vision that I had he would be exactly three months old, which was the message that I had received in that vision. And so I just, I just knew it was him. I knew he had been communicating with us all along. I knew that he had initially been with us in that first pregnancy and then, for whatever reason, he needed to change plans. He needed to change reason, he needed to change plans, he needed to change meat suits, he needed to change the body that he was going to be born into. And he did a little switcheroo and I just knew that he came back to us and I just had such peace that everything would be okay and that I was going to meet him.

Speaker 1: 42:57

Now that didn't mean I didn't have any anxiety during my pregnancy. I definitely did. I definitely did slip into moments of being anxious, especially during that first trimester, just with the just kind of, with the PTSD of going through a loss. I did find myself anxious and worried, but with all of those signs to cling to, I was able to usually pretty quickly anchor myself back into peace and trusting the process. And then, after that positive test in January, the signs that we were getting the feathers and the numbers and things like that, they really seemed to kind of slow down, which initially I was sad about, because I loved all of the communication but I also loved feeling this baby growing in my belly and just having having this presence inside of me.

Speaker 1: 43:59

Um, and so we decided that we wanted to do a gender reveal because it felt really, really important for us to know the gender of the baby. I know some people they love waiting until birth to find out the gender, but we really, really wanted to know the gender because all of these communications that we had gotten over the years, since geez 2015 or 2016,. They had all been really clear visions and knowings that he would be a boy. And so we wanted to do that gender reveal to find out. So I took a blood test. It was like this little at home mail in blood test. It was really simple. Oh, it's called sneak peek. That's the name of the test is sneak peek. So I mailed in and I had the instructions made in such a way that the results would be sent to my sister-in-law, sean's sister, and she would find out and we wouldn't know. And then we organized a gender reveal party so that it would be a surprise to me and Sean at the party and my sister-in-law was in charge of knowing.

Speaker 1: 45:10

And we set up this really cheesy, cute party theme, uh, where she was going to fill a chicken egg with either blue or pink glitter and then Sean and I I think she ended up filling up two eggs, or was it just one? I think it was just one and Sean cracked it. Yes, it was just one egg. So she filled up this chicken egg. I don't know how she actually it was a real chicken egg. I don't know how she got the yolk out of the shell. I think there's this strange method where you can drill like a tiny hole in an eggshell and then somehow the yolk and the white drains out and you can fill the egg with things. I don't know how she did it. All I know is that it was a real chicken egg and she filled it with the appropriate colored glitter and then we had this giant stuffed chicken and we sat the giant stuffed chicken on top of the egg. So that was the whole part. The whole party plan is that we were going to crack these eggs, this egg. It was going to have blue or pink glitter and that's how we were going to find out the sex of our baby. So one more sign from baby H.

Speaker 1: 46:27

The day before the party or rather it was the night before the party I had a dream, and so this, um, this plan was already in place. I knew what the theme of the party was going to be. I knew the details. The only details I didn't know was the sex of my baby. And so the night before the party, I had this very, very vivid dream that I am watching a hand crack an egg on a bowl and all of this blue glitter spills out of the egg. And I wake up and I'm just like, yeah, yeah, he's a boy. We're gonna crack the egg and it's gonna be blue. And this dream was so clear and so vivid and I just had such a strong knowing. It was that same feeling that I had way back in 2015.

Speaker 1: 47:23

When I had the dream about the little boy on the beach, it came with that same clarity and that same knowing. And the next day we're having the party and everyone's gathered around and most of my family thinks it's a girl. They're very, very insistent that it's a girl and I think because I have two nephews and maybe someone was secretly hoping for a granddaughter, I don't know everyone thinks it's a girl and I'm like, sorry guys, it's a boy. I just know and I had a dream and it's a boy. And anyway, we crack the egg, sean cracks the egg and we watch in great anticipation and, sure enough.

Speaker 1: 48:07

Out of that egg spills just tons and tons of blue glitter, and it was one of the happiest moments of my life, just because of all of the signs that we had received. I would have been happy either way, obviously, but it was just the ultimate confirmation that all of these signs that I had received from the dreams to the numbers, to the feathers, to the balloon, to the this, to the that, to the having the dream about the blue glitter, it was just further proof to me that all of these communications were absolutely real, and I was so overjoyed to know that the soul that had been communicating with me so strongly and so persistently was with me and he had been speaking to me all along. And also I could call him baby Henry now instead of baby H. So after having that dream about cracking, cracking the egg and it was blue things started to get a lot quieter as far as signs went. I didn't really see a lot of feathers, I just felt like I couldn't access him, whereas before I felt this very strong, clear, palpable access between us and I felt like I could feel him hovering around me. And then, while I was pregnant and as he was growing inside of my body. I actually felt less access to him, if that makes sense. And it was the. It was the strangest feeling and I was saddened by it for a while and confused by it.

Speaker 1: 49:56

But come to find out this is actually a pretty normal phenomenon with people who have strong communication with their spirit babies. This doesn't happen to everybody, but it's a pretty common phenomenon that once the vessel has landed and is growing, so to speak, once the fetus is growing, it is actually pretty common that some of that spirit baby communication dies down. And I learned this from Emily, the Medium who I follow and adore. I'll link some of her stuff up in the show notes. She has a book on spirit babies called A Cosmic Bond. I was listening to her podcast recently and she had mentioned this phenomenon of things getting quieter once someone is pregnant. So once I learned that, that was really comforting and assuring for me, like oh, okay, nothing's wrong, like this. This just happens when, when the body is growing, okay, okay.

Speaker 1: 50:55

And as my pregnancy progressed and as my due date, my guest date, my guest date drew near, I always wondered in the back of my mind if he would be born on the 29th of September, because that was the day that I had the pregnancy loss the year prior was September 29th and so I thought how significant would it be if he was actually born and came full circle. And was actually born and came earthside on September 29th. How magical would that be. But it ended up being September 22, 2022, which was the fall equinox, so he was born on the first day of fall and his birth date, if you write it out numerically, is 9222022. It's full of twos. There are four twos, just like there were on the hospital bracelets Pretty amazing.

Speaker 1: 52:08

And in his earliest days, when he was just a few days old, I took him outside and I took photos of him with the happy birthday rainbow balloon that had blown into my yard a year prior the balloon that I once thought was annoying trash. That is now sacred. I took photos of him laying on that balloon or near that balloon. I don't think I trash. That is now sacred. I took photos of him laying on that balloon or near that balloon. I don't think I put him on the balloon. I took photos of him with the balloon and it was just the sweetest, sweetest moment. And he is older now. I'm glad I am recording this story because the more time that passes, the fuzzier the details become, and so it feels important to me now that I'm getting these details on paper before, or on paper on audio, before they start to become fuzzier, because it's really important to preserve them.

Speaker 1: 53:07

And he's just one and a half, but he already loves birds, as he alluded to before he came earthside. Whenever you see a bird, think of me, he already loves birds. He's obsessed with our chickens and he's also obsessed with any kind of little bird he sees in the sky. He calls the chickens bok bok, and if he sees a bird flying around, he calls it a tweet-tweet. And he always wants to look at his little picture books and find all of the birds. And I just can't wait to witness how this will continue to evolve as he gets older. And I wonder, you know, will he remember this? Will he talk about it? Will he remember his experience before he came earthside and all of the signs that he shared? I don't know, but he's already starting to use quite a few words, so maybe we will find out one of these days, one of these days. And it's nothing that I will ever pressure or pester him about, and it's honestly not something that I plan to ask him about. I am just going to wait and see if he ever has anything to say to me about it At this point.

Speaker 1: 54:24

Just because of all of the experiences that I've had, I've read quite a few books on pre birth consciousness, one of which is called babies are cosmic. It is an absolutely fascinating read. I will link it up in the show notes. But what that book talks about is accounts of children who remember pre birth experiences. So they remember things from before they were born, before they came earthside, and it is the most beautiful, heartwarming book and it's stories that parents have shared of their young children. Usually they're about from ages two to five. They'll just spontaneously share stories of pre birth experiences and the details that they share are so significant and uncanny and they'll share things that would have been impossible for them to know In any other capacity, like they'll share things about other family members or people that have passed on, et cetera, et cetera, that no adult has ever talked to them about before. So if you're interested in stories like that, I cannot recommend the book Babies Are Cosmic by Elizabeth and Neil Carman more highly. It will give you hope in times of doubt and grief and it will inspire awe and wonder whenever you need that sort of pick me up. So definitely check out that book if you've been inspired by this episode. Other books that I highly recommend on this topic are Spirit Babies by Walter Makachin I think that's how you pronounce his name and I mentioned this earlier but A Cosmic Bond by Emily Green, who also goes by Emily the Medium. These are just a few titles that I love and can recommend highly, and I'll be sure to link up all of those in the show notes.

Speaker 1: 56:35

And if you are in a place where you are trying to conceive or you're interested in spirit baby communication, the most simple thing that I can recommend it's simple but profound is just asking for a sign, asking for your spirit baby to show you a sign that they are there and being open to whatever you receive. Now, in my case, I said very specifically and directly show me a feather, and that ended up being the sign. But they can come in all sorts of different ways. So ask for a sign and then notice what you receive. And if you are interested in spirit baby communication through hypnosis, this is something that I facilitate and it is incredibly beautiful. I've done several. I've been calling them mother-baby connection sessions, where I have facilitated connection between mothers and babies either mothers that are trying to conceive and they have not yet conceived, or mothers who have conceived and they are wanting to communicate with their baby or babies before they come earth side. And in these sessions we just link up and facilitate communication and receive insights and guidance and wisdom for the things that they want, the things that they need, and also just guidance for the parents with their lives and their choices and their decisions that they're making. And these sessions generally. They just bring so much clarity and peace and hope and understanding and love. They are absolutely beautiful to facilitate. So if you are interested in having one of those connection sessions, just reach out to me either via Instagram or email if that's something that calls to you.

Speaker 1: 58:41

And finally, I just really want to thank you for listening to this episode, for taking the time to hear my story, hear our story, the story of my family and baby Henry. I hope that it has given you hope or inspired you. I hope it was a bright and magical part of your day. If you want to keep in touch with me and find me elsewhere on the interwebs, you can find me on Instagram at Holly Fisher Higgins. You can also peruse my website at hollyfisherhigginscom. Those are the main places to come say hi, and I also have a free clear the crap meditation that I would encourage you to download. This is a fan favorite meditation for clearing heaviness, ickiness, sticky vibes, yuckiness. Whenever you're having one of those yuck days. This is a great thing to listen to, to reset and center yourself and just clear your energy. It's called clear the crap. I will link it up in the show notes. So enjoy those resources and until next time, go believe in you. I do